Im realli going crazy..i think i had mood swing yesterday after parted with my gers and met steve.. i was damn emo and sad.. knots in my heart which i didnt know at all how to untie..i dunno y im realli irritated and frustrated... i acted liKe a Ye Man Nu You.. demanding to taKe cab home, thinking that i have to wake up 5am in the morning.. i wanted to get hm asap so i can get more slp.. which also, there isnt much cab ard tt area (Suntec) and Taxi stands are everywhere.. with long queues.. i admit i was realli liKe a wilful 3 yr old ger yesterday nite.. but he wasnt angry at all.. and called and booked a cab in the end.. haiz.. wads worse? I was realli upset i felt so bitter.. i cried on his shoulder because of the other guy... i am realli bad and he's realli good.. how can i do this to him?
i can say he's one guy who's realli devoted and willing to do anything for my sake.. ive tried to feel for him.. veri hard.. but still, nothing.. He's an easily hurt guy.. im an easily hurt ger.. i dun wanna hurt him cuz i know how it will feel like.. but on the other hand, this day will come.. cuz he himself know that my heart is still with another guy... He knows wad i look for in him.. he knows he cant give me wad i wan.. but i dun demand of cuz.. juz feel tt.. no pt.. argh.. sometimes ppl will sae.. Ren Hao Jiu Hao.. but see .. now the prove is here.. ren hao no feeling also no use.. Ren Bu hao.. gt feeling.. anything u also wun mind.. y are things so wierd.. i cant slp yst for the whole nite AGAIN.. so pissed off.. and it goes 1am,2am,3,4,5.15... have i slelpt? -no. -___- Shag..
Dun feel liKe going to work.. heart still knotty.. almost broke dwn this morning again.. i realli feel like just taKe MC.. but on 2nd thoguht, better not .. working is not too bad.. at least it stops all the negative thoughts for a few hrs.. and fun colleages to be with.. Going clubbing on the 27th Oct with them.. let me get drunk..
i was still think of wad present to buy for him..2 more weeks.. i've bought something act.. but on 2nd thought liKe veri.. dots.. so i think im not giving anymore.. but i dunno wad else to give.. the things i thought of muz be chosen by himself which i think is impossible.. further more.. my finance.. haiz.. worried le.. but i will buy as long as i think he will like.. but.. if he throws it away, tts the other case.. i dun intend to meet him .. maybe juz .. u noe leave it there.. and ya.. my 2nd bdae wish this yr wun come true either.. only 2 simple wishes and both never come true.. ='(
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